Perhaps, my last act of love is keeping you in my prayers.
I said it before that to perform the last act of love is to let go. But letting you go is hard. It’s not like I’m holding you to keep you with me. You are free to go and forget about me. But the real challenge is me, myself. I can’t and refuse to forget about you. You are way too important to me. Forgetting you feels so wrong. So instead of letting you go from my mind and heart, I guess the best way for me to perform the last act of love is;
To keep you in my prayers always.
I told Him about you. I told Him about how warm you were when you hugged me. I told Him how soft-spoken you were when you talked to me. I told Him how soft your lips were when you brushed them against my cheek. I told Him how gentle you were when you held my hand. I told Him how grateful I am for your existence in this world. I guess the world smiled when you were born.
My prayers have become a special session with God, just to talk about you—how I miss you so much, how my love still grows for you, and how everything still pains me.
Sometimes, I slip a request to God, hoping that you will remember and miss me too. I asked for something grand, knowing that God probably has another plan, but I asked anyway—for you to be the one, my soulmate. To whom can I ask such a grand thing if not from my God?
My selfish prayers aside, I pray for your health and happiness—truly. I pray that you will always be safe on the road to work and back. I pray for the load on your shoulders to be lighter. I pray for you to find joy in every small thing in life. I pray for your financial stability. I pray that you never get betrayed by people you trust. I pray no evil comes toward you. I pray for your body to stay healthy and free from stress. I pray for you to always have a good night's sleep. I pray no harm gets near you. I pray for every sin to be forgiven. I pray for you to barely feel pain and freely laugh with your dear friends. I pray for you to find someone you can lean on and be with for the rest of your life, even if that person isn’t me.
Heaven and hell know how much I love you. Therefore, i will perform my actual last act of love.
